Your brain is a wonderful thing. It helps you read, write, think - it even keeps your breathing and keeps your heart pumping blood to the rest of your body. It might surprise you to learn that it is even involved in your feelings. Deep inside your brain is a primitive part that controls how we feel; when we get scared or angry and when we get excited or happy. When a cave man was hunting and ran into a lion, this part of the brain was wired so that he would fight for his life or run away as fast as he could. This response to danger has become called the "fight or flight" response. In our world, we don't usually encounter lions or bears, but we might have the same response to a bully on the playground or to a teacher who speaks to you in a loud voice that sounds like yelling. For the cave man, once he had escapted the lion, it would take a few minutes for his body to settle back down; for his breathing to return to normal, for his stomach to stop feeling like it had butterflies in it, and for him to stop sweating.
For some people this response gets triggered by small things. It is like a smoke detector that is supposed to detect a fire detects smoke from cooking dinner.
For some people it is like the knob on the stove top doesn't work so the fire of the emotions is not being controlled by anything and goes hotter and cooler all by itself.
It is really important to learn some ideas to help yourself when your feelings get hot. It is like your brain gets on fire. When your brain is on fire you can't think very well. The first step is to put the fire out.
Some ideas for how to do this are to remove yourself from the situation that is causing the upset.
Then understand that it will take a few minutes to settle back down.
In the meantime, do something to relax, like drawing, writing, reading, listening to music, or talking to someone you trust. Getting some exercise is a good idea.
Once your the fire is out you can think better about how to solve the problem.
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